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You have the right to be angry, to protest and to feel your discomfort.

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发表于 2022-1-23 17:10:03 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
You have the right to be angry, to protest and to feel your discomfort.

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п»їEven if they want to convince you otherwise, you do: getting angry is a right and an emotional necessity. Feeling the displeasure, the indignation and the rage of bewilderment is the first step to being able to deal with a problem. Think that if we limit ourselves to swallow our anger over and over again without facing what hurts, we will violate our self-esteem.
We must be clear: allowing ourselves to feel angry is not to lose control, nor is it to show our weakness. Often, perhaps influenced by a rather spiritual line, we tend to confuse terms and ideas. We know that whoever makes us angry dominates us, but this does not mean that we are going to deactivate this negative emotionality in order to hide it, not to assume it or manage it. Anger has a very clear objective: to invite us to resolve a specific threat.
"The most painful annoyances are those we cannot complain about."
-Marquis de Custine
On the other hand, something we also know is that day to day life always puts our emotional balance to the test. There will be people who live eternally offended and those who never take anything personally. Each one of us goes through our daily lives with a certain filter, with which we let certain emotions and thoughts pass or not.
However, everything has a limit and an insurmountable border. We are talking about that barrier that is often crossed arbitrarily to vilify our self-esteem, to fray our emotional integrity or to manipulate us. Anger has a reason to be and expressing it in a respectful way at the right time and in the most needed moment is something cathartic and very healthy.
We suggest you reflect on this.
Getting angry, protesting and giving voice to your emotions also helps. Curiously enough, there are very few books that explain or argue the benefits of anger or indignation. Traditionally, this type of emotion has always been related to anger and lack of control, lack of temperance, tact and wisdom when it comes to managing this vital setback.
However, it is good to remember that, as it happens in the process of mourning, it is necessary to take the step towards the acceptance of one's own emotions before channeling them, before transforming them. Knowing what I feel and why I feel it is vital when resolving an emotional crossroads. We mentioned that the bibliography on the subject is scarce, although fortunately we have an interesting and enlightening book: "Annoying" (2011), by scientists Joe Palca and Flora Lichtman.
This paper delves into the subject of anger from a multidisciplinary approach where neuroscience, sociology, anthropology and psychology are not lacking. The first thing they reveal is that anger is often compared to anger, frustration or disgust towards something or someone. This is not true; in fact, experts propose to understand anger as a unique and exclusive emotion.
In turn, an anger never arises from a punctual act. It is an accumulation of "many few making a lot", it is like the mosquito that flutters in our room every night until we finally lose sleep and are unable to focus our attention on anything else. However, and here comes the most important part of the issue, without discomfort there is no possibility of change. That is, that negative emotion has a purpose: it wants us to act.
Getting angry intelligentlyCharles Darwin himself once said that negative emotions, such as fear and anger, are warnings that lead us to initiate appropriate behaviors to avoid or undo a danger. Paying attention to what bothers us, outrages us and takes away our calm is a sign of self-understanding. Acting appropriately based on those emotions certainly demonstrates our Emotional Intelligence.
"Stay away from the little people who wish to dwarf your life and your ambitions: they are the most dangerous."
-Mark Twain
Let's see below, how we should act in these cases and what aspects it is convenient to delimit to understand.
The 4 laws of intelligent angerThe first law and not less important, is to be clear that who lives eternally offended is doomed to an eternal unhappiness. There are battles that are not worth fighting, there are aspects that do not deserve our attention and conversations that are better not to start or not to feed.
Be angry about what really disturbs your personal balance, give voice to what attacks your self-esteem and defend yourself firmly against those who dare to hurt you.
The second law refers to something very obvious: it is possible to defend ourselves with respect. Arguing assertively and without verbally attacking the person in front of us is essential. Something that can and should be done through Emotional Intelligence.
The third law has some very clear steps that it is necessary to internalize: listen, feel, breathe, clarify and act. That is to say, first we will attend to the stimulus that offends or hurts us. Then we will become aware of our emotions, we will feel the anger. Later we will breathe and clarify priorities.
"I must act and set limits by making it clear that I do not want to be treated that way. I must not let my anger immobilize me so much that I cannot think. I will use it to act intelligently.
The fourth and final law for getting angry intelligently is learning. Every situation solved, faced or every need defended, must teach us that inactivity, silence and "swallowing emotions" hurts and makes us sick.
We should not be afraid of negative emotions, understanding and managing them is the real key to our personal growth.
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